All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
