i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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