and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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