Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
