Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
