Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
