Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
