the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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