remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
