Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
