are you still at the devil's house?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
