ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
