You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
