Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
