I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
And then he peed in my hair
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