my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
only if we run a train.
done.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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