please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
