Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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