haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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