dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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