i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
