Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
