I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize