A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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