No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
