The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
