Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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