How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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