Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
