im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
