It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i think im in europe. pls send help
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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