She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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