some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
