If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
