If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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