It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
