when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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