Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
