I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
