I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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