You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
