Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
