Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
