There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
