i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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