with your own penis?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
operation have a gay friend backfired
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
