hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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