tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
