Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
