My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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