lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
