How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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