Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Randomize
