I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
