I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize