dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
