you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
