Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
