Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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